You would think you'd turn away from someone you loathe, but the opposite occurs. The more you think of them, the more you become like them, and the more you think like them. "You are what you put your time into," after all, and if you invest your time into overthinking another person (worse, an enemy), you will slowly transform into them. Partially, anyways.
Of course, facing one's demons is vitally important. It does no good to run away from something one must confront. But obsession is the pit on the other side of that challenge. Rumination is stagnation.
Deal with the problem, then move on. One thing at a time. Replace your mind's thoughts of sad history with a brighter future.
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